Its really For me.....from: special girl oF mY lIfe

It hit me so fast, out of now where. One second I’m normal, the next I’m just a girl in love with a boy. He didn’t have to do anything, standing there next to me was enough. He has no idea of the feelings building up inside of me, as I watch him sought through his draw for some familiar clothing. Is it possible that without even looking at me he can see exactly who I am, and what I need more than any one else in this world. Turning around he reveals a shirt he forgot he left here in my room. Smiling in idiotic fashion, I look far too enthusiastic about a shirt, and straight away he knows. He knows that what he feels I’m feeling too.He’s reading my mind and I love it.

He stares so deeply in my eyes, I’m lost. Of thought, feeling, time. All I see is him, my life, my future, my hope. He approaches me slowly, one step at a time, his movement along my wooden floor boards are my only indication that sound still exists. We both haven’t spoken a word, but to us we don’t need to. This room and this moment is all we ever need. Our own little world. Where love saves us every time. Our own space that’s engulfed with this over whelming sense of safety. We could be standing in the middle of a war zone, and still feel this calm, tranquil sensation, that everything is going to work out. I start to wonder if he’s still moving, or if I’m still breathing.

He’s torturing me with his lingering movements, he’s two metres away and yet the distance is agonizing.

I need him around me, I need to feel him holding me. A physical reminder he’s really mine. He takes another excruciating step and I swear my hearts pace has slowed to that of his movements. I begin to wonder if I can last any longer, I swear no one has loved as much as I do now. I want to step towards him, to throw myself in his arms but I’m as capable of movement as my ability to stop loving him. My love is permanent, my heart is his. It’s no longer a choice, slavery is suddenly the sweetest word to escape my thoughts. I know from looking at him, his endeavouring blue eyes, his dark heavy hair, his lips that tempt me with the slightest movement, that I would give up the world to make him happy. To spend the rest of my life watching him grow, and change. To be the reasoning behind his constant feeling of content is the biggest compliment of my life. To be the reasoning of him waking up in the morning helps me sleep at night. And see him as clearly unconsciously in my dreams as I do right now as he stands less than a meter from me. He’s so close I can see him perfectly, my dreams staring me intently in the eyes, I feel like I’m going to faint. Almost losing balance, his smile catches me. The smile that stops my heart, yet keeps it going. The smile I wait for every moment it’s absent. The smile that saved my life and reminds me of the happiness we both feel. I just want to look at him, it’s all I want in this world. To look at him now and everyday for the rest of my life. He’s perfect, in every absence of the word. I wonder if he knows, how much I love him. If he knows I’m the person I am because of what he’s given me. That I would die today with him then live forever without him. That I would wait an eternity for him, and even longer. The moment my whole bodies waited for finally approaches, he’s still smiling that gorgeous smile as he wraps his arms around my lower shoulders and kisses me. Smooth and soft, I can feel my lips fighting between kissing and laughing. Every second of waiting was worth this perfect moment. Every feeling inside of me starts to build, I feel I’m about to explode. That my physical body can not possibly contain the love I feel for him. Everything becomes hazy, the only thing in focus is me and him. I know with all my heart that this person is the only person I’m meant to kiss for the rest of life. And he doesn’t even realise he’s given me the most amazing gift. His kissing slows and I feel the dreaded inevitable motion of him pulling away. “I love you baby”The sweetness of the words almost knock me over, I hardly accept that their directed at me. “I love you”.Unsurprisingly the words are just as beautiful the second time as the first, it’s like he knows the power they have over me. My soul reaches it’s capacity and I sense the tears gathering in my eyes will soon be racing each other to the bottom of my cheeks. He gathers me up in his arms, reassuring me of his love with nothing but his touch. There’s only one thing I can ask from him, plead him for. One thing that that I know as my best friend he will do, without hesitation. I open my mouth and the request escapes my throat, surprising even me with the desperation hiding in it’s tone.“ Jessie never let go”.